Why You Should Never Accept the First Offer. Even If You’re Struggling
Inspired by Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
Part 7 of 10 | Published by Open to Work Now
Let’s be honest:
Job searching is hard.
You’re applying nonstop, fielding rejections (or worse: silence), and constantly trying to stay confident when your bank account is screaming otherwise.
So when an offer finally lands in your inbox, your brain fires off a signal:
“Say yes before it disappears.”
“Don’t blow it.”
“What if this is the only one?”
But here’s what Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator, wants you to understand:
Saying “yes” too fast is the real risk.
Negotiation isn’t about playing hardball. It’s about not surrendering your power; especially when you feel like you don’t have any.
Desperation Is Real, But So Is Your Value
At Open to Work Now, we work with people who are talented, driven, and capable, but who feel worn down by the process. Maybe you’ve been unemployed for months. Maybe you’ve been ghosted more times than you can count.
It’s completely human to want to grab the first lifeline.
But here’s the problem:
Accepting too fast can signal desperation.
It can lock you into a compensation range that doesn’t reflect your worth.
And it often leads to regret just a few weeks into a new role.
Chris Voss teaches that the first offer is rarely the best offer.
If the other side made you an offer, it means they want you.
If they want you, they’re expecting you to ask questions.
If you don’t, you’re negotiating against yourself.
“But I Can’t Afford to Lose This Offer.”
We hear this fear all the time. And yes, it’s valid.
But here’s the truth: most hiring managers don’t rescind offers because someone asked a clarifying question or requested a modest bump in salary. In fact, they often respect you more for it.
Hiring isn’t just about skills; it’s about confidence and communication. When you accept instantly without any discussion, it can inadvertently signal:
You’re not used to negotiating
You may undervalue yourself
You might not be ready to advocate for yourself internally either
What Chris Voss Teaches Us: Negotiation Is Collaboration
In Never Split the Difference, Voss says the strongest negotiators approach every conversation with curiosity, not fear.
You’re not trying to “win” the job offer. You’re trying to shape it so it fits you better. That could mean:
Asking for clarity on growth opportunities
Requesting flexible start dates
Discussing equity, PTO, or sign-on bonuses
Even just taking the time to review and reflect before deciding
None of these are unreasonable asks.
They’re signals that you’re thoughtful, strategic, and aware of your own needs.
What to Say Instead of “Yes”
1. Press Pause (Respectfully)
“Thank you so much for the offer. I’m genuinely excited about the opportunity and the team. I’d love to take a day or two to review the details carefully. Would it be okay if I got back to you by [date]?”
This is : Professional : Polite : Strategic
2. Clarify the Full Offer
“Before I make a final decision, I want to make sure I understand the total compensation structure; especially around performance bonuses and benefits. Can we walk through that?”
You’re showing you care about long-term fit; not just short-term relief.
3. Ask Calibrated Questions (Voss Style)
“How flexible is the team on salary, given the scope of the role and my previous experience managing similar programs?”
or
“What’s possible in terms of adjusting the title to better reflect the seniority of the responsibilities?”
You’re not making demands. You’re creating room for a better outcome.
What If They Say “No”?
That’s fine. Now you have data.
And remember, no is not the end of the conversation. It’s the beginning of a real one.
You might respond with:
“Thanks for clarifying. I still feel really excited about the role. I’ll take some time to review and will follow up soon.”
You’ve shown maturity, not desperation.
And that is exactly the energy employers respect.
Why This Matters for You
Saying no, or even not yet, doesn’t mean you’re being difficult. It means you’re respecting your own time, talent, and trajectory.
Voss reminds us:
“You fall to your highest level of preparation.”
And preparation includes having a plan for when the offer comes in - especially when you’re tempted to grab it immediately.
The first offer is a starting point, not a final destination.
Even when you’re struggling, you’re allowed to slow down, ask questions, and advocate for yourself.
Because this isn’t just about money.
It’s about momentum.
You can purchase Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss through our Amazon Storefront.
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Coming Up Next:
How to Negotiate When You Have “No Leverage”
Because sometimes it feels like you’ve got nothing, but what you really have is clarity, curiosity, and control.
